Usually when we think of this word we think of phrases like. "an eye for an eye"  or "tit for tat". But reciprocity is far deeper than some sort of check list or vigilante justice in our personal sphere. Reciprocity is essential to the health of a relationship for any kind - between human and human, human and animal, human and planet, animal to planet and extended infinitely. It is the great balance of forces of Nature that keeps us all alive. So why do some of us act so badly with it when it comes to how we treat each other?  For me the reasons and symbolisms are deep. We can say it starts with how we feed ourselves.  If our food doesn't give us true nourishment then it is not reciprocal. If we have no awareness or respect for where our good food comes from, it is also not reciprocal...and we can extend this metaphor to all the products we use without awareness and respect for those who made them, and the way we generally consume everything we get our hands on like a product.  We are in a culture more than ever before that consumes and uses - everything and everyone.

 Well my heart is not for sale!

My soul is not a product!

My body is not a product!
And neither is yours.

If we want to have better relationships with ourselves, others and the planet, we need to be aware that we are consuming.  It's set up so that it makes it almost impossible Not to consume , but we can have mindfulness about it.  We can be aware that we have more living space and fresh water than most of the planet. We can be aware that, ok....I'm eating McDO today...it's not a wise choice and I know why, but I am choosing, and therefore conscious.

The reason I bring up this subject though is of course to help you with relationship issues in your life and have a ways to re frame them positively. Think of all the important people in your life. 

Are you a giver?

Do you make sacrifices often and don't complain? 

Are you super nice? Well then you are also super angry!!

Reciprocity also means that to be healthy we must also receive.

To be healthy we need to feel important to the people in our lives.

Keeping a check list in your mind of who invited who, how many times, or who paid for this and that how many times etc.  mean you are already in resentment and lack of trust....or you wouldn't be counting. Reciprocity doesn't mean you give in the same currency either.  To feel important one person may need a hug every day and the other needs to know you're not in debt. One person needs a lot of listening time and the other  is content to feel you believe in them and give them space.  The balance that makes people stay together is felt and doesn't require trying so hard.  If you expect a mind reader that's also not ok.

We have to ask,"  Hey, would you mind doing ...xyz for me? or It really bothers me when...can we figure this out? "

And people who love you say yes most of the time.

Meeting each others' needs can be very simple if we let it.

We all need acknowledgment, thanks, listening, respect, and faith in each other.

We all need to have support in taking care of ourselves -

meeting our own needs without interference.

We all need reciprocity